A list of media for folks who, like me, love Halloween but aren’t too keen on horror movies.
In no particular order…
Books
Classics
Dracula, Bram Stoker
This was my Halloween week go-to for years. I read it for the first time back in ninth grade, and in all the time since, I still don’t think I’ve met a more clueless protagonist than
Frankenstein; or, the Modern Prometheus, Mary Shelley
Did you know Frankenstein built his Creature, as the monster is called in the book, using beautiful parts? Unfortunately, it didn’t quite work out. Probably didn’t help the Creature was eight feet tall and found his own visage hideous.
Fun fact, some folks consider Frankenstein to be the first science fiction book!
Dante’s Inferno
Still not off my “know your classics!” soapbox. The Inferno is useful to have some base knowledge of, especially if you’re a fan of the Over the Garden Wall miniseries (which makes an appearance later on this list).
Man, did Dante hate betrayers.
Something Wicked This Way Comes, Ray Bradbury
Technically a dark fantasy, this book is wildly atmospheric and perfect for the Halloween season. It has everything: magic! Danger! A spooky traveling carnival! Charles motherflippin’ Halloway!
Modern / contemporary
John Dies at the End, David Wong
This book depicts, with plenty of dark humor, the inescapable horror or reality-bending, mind-warping madness, but it’s also kind of a buddy cop movie. I reread it regularly (probably in part because John is people I know), and it’s fun every time.
I do NOT recommend the sequel, This Book is Full of Spiders, though. Partly because it is, indeed, full of spiders, but mostly because it’s a vastly more dour and depressing affair that lacks the deranged fun and occasional much-needed levity of John Dies at the End.
Gideon the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir
This book is about lesbian necromancers and swordfighters exploring ancient ruins in space, and if that does not excite you, I’m not sure what will. Worth reading for the way Muir describes necromantic magic alone, but the characters are interesting (I will not spoil anything by telling you my favorites) and their relationships complex. Also, there are swords. I feel I cannot state this enough.
I’m actually still reading this one, and I’m still recommending it already because seriously, this book slaps.
Behind You, Brian Coldrick
This is one of my favorite coffee table books! It’s a series of one-shot horror stories, one per page, featuring art that is typically accompanied by a sentence or two (I hesitate to call it a “comic,” exactly, but I suppose that’s more or less what it is). Coldrick sets up the unsettling scenario, and once you’ve grasped what’s about to happen, you’re left to speculate on the horrifying results yourself.
Behind You is also available to read online.
One Bloody Thing After Another, Joey Comeau
I love Joey Comeau’s writing (Overqualified is the single most heartbreakingly beautiful epistolary novella I’ve ever read), so I gave this book a try despite my general squeamishness about horror. This book is a lot of things — sometimes bizarrely so — but it definitely counts as horror. If you’re okay with getting a little scared, it’s short enough to make a good Halloween night read!
“Possum,” Matthew Holness (short story)
I don’t know if I can call this short story full-on “scary,” even though the recent film adaptation looks pants-crappingly frightening. It is, however, definitely unsettling. The description of the puppet in question veers more into horror than terror, that gruesome sort of revulsion that renders you paradoxically unable to look away. The short story is a bit obtuse, a bit experimental, and something more people need to read so we can discuss it together.
The Pilo Family Circus, Will Elliott
This book has some of the mad energy of John Dies at the End mixed with the ominous traveling carnival of Something Wicked This Way Comes. If you don’t mind having next to zero female characters, it’s an enjoyable, easy read. I liked it for Elliott’s take on the spooky circus trope, and there were a few times I caught myself laughing out loud.
The Gunslinger, Stephen King
If you want to read Stephen King but you’re afraid his other works will traumatize you, I’d suggest starting with book one of the Dark Tower series. The Gunslinger is a fantasy with Western trappings, but King’s talent for horror is still present. For instance, there’s a trap laid by the story’s central antagonist early on in the novel that is ghoulish, and flavored with that Lovecraftian sort of “things man was never meant to try to comprehend.” Fun!
Games
Single-player
Costume Quest
This game is super cute, in the most non-patronizing way possible. It made me feel like a kid on Halloween night again. HIGHLY recommended, even if the battle gameplay gets a tad repetitive — it’s more about the overall experience. (Still can’t believe one of the kids dresses up like candy corn, though. Come on, man.)
Night in the Woods
One of my favorite games. Listen, just go play this, okay? It’s a great pick for, say, Halloween weekend. NITW distills the essence of Halloween and autumn in a small nowhere-town so perfectly it makes me homesick. The characters and their arcs are surprisingly poignant, the art is lovely, the writing is charming and sharp, and the gameplay is a blast. My favorite gameplay is still a toss-up between (badly) playing bass and smashing lightbulbs with Gregg behind the Snack Falcon. That a game where the player can knife fight in the woods and shoplift pretzels is also a beautiful meditation on life and the ties that bind us to people and places is damn impressive.
Afterparty
I have had this on my list for a while now! Hopefully the recently graduated protagonists’ dialogue doesn’t prove overly snarky and/or philosophical, because the art is lovely, and the idea of accidentally stumbling into hell and having to best the devil in a drinking contest sounds like a good time.
What Remains of Edith Finch
If you are the type who likes to listen to ghost stories around a campfire, this is the game for you. While it’s not out-and-out spooky, the stories of everyone in this cursed family play out like a dark fairytale and make for a seasonally appropriate play-through.
Darkwood
A horror game without jump scares! I jump anyway, just about every time, but that’s a personal problem. It’s manageable.
Graveyard Keeper
This one is my partner’s recommendation! I haven’t played Graveyard Keeper yet, but from what I’ve seen, it looks like a good time. Also, there’s an incredibly sassy donkey, so that’s a plus.
Luigi’s Mansion
If you can get your hands on the original Luigi’s Mansion, DO IT. This game is one of those beautiful one-off gems Nintendo occasionally creates. Yes, i know there are sequels — those are NOT the same game, not by a long shot. The original Luigi’s Mansion is really something special, I promise you. It’s magic.
Luigi’s Mansion 3
That said, Gooigi is a treasure.
Multiplayer
Phasmophobia
For all its ’90s-era graphics and modeling goofiness, Phasmophobia’s gameplay is solid, and playing this game with a team is awesome. It’s typically hysterically funny, right up until a ghost starts hunting and you have to quickly turn off your flashlight and hide before a phantom wraps its creepy hands around you and croaks directly into your ear. Yargh.
While it’s not a hard game to learn to play, the tutorial is just about the actual worst, so don’t bother with that — google the controls or have a friend teach you. My partner, little sister, and I played with my mom over the weekend, who isn’t usually a gamer and had never played Phasmophobia before, and she caught right on. (Also, highly recommend ghost hunting with my mom! She’s the best.)
Monster Date
I played this a year or so back in a room with a bunch of pals, and it was legit very funny. I’m not sure it’d be the same experience remotely, but who knows? Maybe hop on discord or something and try it out anyway. You’ll just want a forum for group chatting, because the game moves fairly quickly and it’s much funnier that way.
Board and card games
Arkham Horror: The Card Game
This is a good one to play with a friend or partner who enjoys a little RPG flavor and/or storyteling games.
Betrayal at the House on the Hill
Unaffiliated with Dante in any way, strangely enough. It’s co-op, until it isn’t!
Mysterium
This one is fully co-op, and my pick for a good family game, as it’s suitable even for families who aren’t usually that into games. Mysterium is a good time and uses a solid and easily understood central mechanic that’s complicated by the subjective nature of the game’s players.
Films and TV
Festive (not scary)
Over the Garden Wall
If you watch nothing else this Halloween season, watch Over the Garden Wall. It’s technically a mini series, but I prefer to watch them all of its short episodes in one go, which makes it feel like a movie. The characters are wonderful, the voice acting is great, the setting and concept are gorgeous, and the music is excellent. Trust me: if you haven’t seen this, you need to.
PROS: Literally all of it. Also, it maps to Dante’s nine circles of hell!
CONS: “Potatoes and Molasses” is really catchy, and you’ll probably have it stuck in your head for at least a few days.
Coco
Got me right in the feels!
Monster House
Atmospheric, with that right kind of spooky Halloween magic, but also kid-friendly.
Spirited Away
Speaking of magic and atmosphere… If you’ve already seen this one, you might check out Howl’s Moving Castle for a ballpark similar vibe. They’re both great movies any time of year; however, I find them especially nice around Halloween, when things are just a touch stranger.
Corpse Bride
Look, somebody’s probably gonna want you to watch a Tim Burton movie, right? Instead of caving and watching The Nightmare Before Christmas again, put on Corpse Bride. The characters are lovely, the music is fun, and it feels much more like a Halloween movie to me than Nightmare ever did.
What We Do in the Shadows
Oh geez, this is probably my number two pick for festive movies on this list, and it’s hands-down my favorite vampire film (if one can really call it that). It’s incredibly funny. The characters are great. The writing is great. The humor is great. Hell, why am I not watching this right now?
Locke & Key (series)
This was kind of fun, in a Disney-scary way. The atmosphere of the house is fantastic, and keys have always seemed romantically mysterious to me.
The graphic novels, by the way, are MUCH darker, and they get into the body horror aspect of the story much more strongly. They’re written by Joe Hill, and the only reason they’re not on this year’s Halloween for Cowards list is that I’ve only just started reading the first one.
Horror comedy
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil
I surprised myself by being fine with all the over-the-top gore in this one! It’s so overdone that it becomes funny. I know everyone’s all “Cabin in the Woods is so good!!!” still, but I like Tucker and Dale better. It’s funnier, for one, and it also has an uplifting plot at its center. A little gendered, sure, but on the other hand, Alan Tudyk is in it! He’s Tucker, specifically, and it’s delightful to watch him run around in the woods as a “well-meaning hillbilly.” Also, Tyler Levine is genuinely just really lovely as Dale, and the chemistry between him and Katrina Bowden really sells the story.
John Dies at the End
I recommend reading the book first, because the movie adaptation cuts a LOT out, and while stylish, it’s a different style than the book’s. The book is also just more complex than the movie, and its to the book’s benefit. That said, as someone who read the book, I really enjoyed this. Chase Williamson makes a truly excellent Dave — he’s very sympathetic, and he gets the “slacker” persona across without falling into clichés — Rob Mayes makes for a solid John, and Paul Giamatti is there! Paul Giamatti, you guys!!
Also: I have just learned the actor who plays North, Doug Jones, is also Abe Sapien in Hellboy, holy SHIT.
Cabin in the Woods
Not as good as Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, but still good.
Zombieland
If you’re going to watch a zombie movie, I like this one.
Monster movies
From Dusk till Dawn
This could have just as easily gone under “horror comedy,” but I had to put it somewhere, and one character’s death in particular upset me, so Monster Movies it is! I don’t know how to explain this one; you probably just have to watch it.
Tremors
One of the best monster movies I’ve ever seen. Legit just a very fun time.
Hellboy (Guillermo del Toro), 1 and 2
Why is Guillermo del Toro so good at monster design? Also, Ron Perlman is perfect as Hellboy, and I am a big fan of Abe Sapien (Doug Jones). These movies are kind of gorgeous, in all honesty, more action-fantasy than horror. That said, Hellboy 2 manages to make tooth fairies scary, so uh. There’s that.
I’m not even going to bother mentioning the more recent Hellboy, other than to tell you not to waste your time on it. Ugh.
Pitch Black
Seems like your typical B-movie. Isn’t. Good pick if you’re looking to get your Halloween spookiness on with a sci-fi setting.
The Host (2006)
Watch it with the subtitles. Fantastic creature design. Feels like a classic monster movie, but with modern effects and sensibilities.
Alien
You gotta. I’ll admit it’s tense and can be hard to watch at times (I saw the director’s cut, heh). It is also a stunning example of gothic horror in space.
Manageably spooky movies
Psycho
Know your classics, right? This is a good one (even if Hitchcock was sentient human-shaped scum).
Fright Night (2011 remake)
Kind of an action-horror, if you will. It’s got Anton Yelchin in it, who I LOVED, and it’s got David Tennant in ridiculous leather pants. Also, Colin Ferrell is the vampire. Come on.
It (TV miniseries)
This was one of those covers that used to scare the beans outta me as a kid when I walked by it in video rental stores. Turns out it’s… not actually that scary??? It’s certainly not gory, as it aired on TV back in the day. Anyway, you know I love watching Tim Curry play villains. Also! The guy playing adult Eddie is adorable, especially his interactions with Richie.
It (2017 film) / Chapter One
I low-key can’t believe I watched this, but I did! It was after I watched the It miniseries, so maybe that helped. Half of the time, this feels like a funny, charming coming-of-age drama, and then occasionally it reminds you, oh shit, right, this is a horror movie. Any scene with Bill Skarsgård is generally terrifying (he really conveys this alien presence that I am well and truly unsettled by), but they’re doable. Just maybe skip the scene at the beginning with Georgie. Or at least mute it.
Incidentally, there’s this maybe four-second bit with Finn Wolfhard messing around with a tuba that is some of the funniest background physical comedy I have ever seen — and I say this as a longtime Monty Python fan. (Almost makes me forgive the kid for that PUP music video. Almost.)
The Sixth Sense
On the list in case there are somehow still people who haven’t seen it. The Sixth Sense is more drama than anything, but there are some jarring images and musical cues, and it’s about ghosts, so I’m counting it. If you don’t like it, you can make yer own list.
Pan’s Labyrinth
Hands-down the hardest-to-watch film on this list, so proceed with caution. If you can stomach the extreme violence and brutality of the story’s real-world events, and brave the flippin’ Pale Man (i.e., you don’t have an older brother who will chase you around at night with his hands over his eyes, groaning horribly), then this is a stunning dark fantasy film that I highly recommend. I’ve watched it exactly once, many years ago, and I don’t know if I’ll be ready to watch it again any time soon. Still, it really is beautiful.