Horrorscopes

Not even the stars can help you now.

1.aries.jpg

Aries

This is the way the world ends: not with a bang. So you can rule that one out.

2.taurus.jpg

Taurus

You'll have a harder time than usual with finances this month, as will everyone else who's in the bank when the fire breaks out.

3.gemini.jpg

Gemini

You're right to assume your curiosity will get you killed one of these days, but oh boy, just wait 'til you see how!

4.cancer.jpg

Cancer

It's okay to put your own needs first sometimes. You'll have plenty of time to worry about others after you've stopped yourself from bleeding out.

5.leo.jpg

Leo

Your excellent fight or flight instincts will be little help toward the end of the week when you'll find you're unable to do either.

6.virgo.jpg

Virgo

Sometimes settling for “done” is better than endlessly striving for “perfect,” Virgo. That barricade doesn’t have to be your best work; it just has to keep them out for another night.

7.libra.jpg

Libra

You may be conflict-avoidant, Libra, but no one ever said you were bad at conflict. And after tonight, no one ever will.

8.scorpio.jpg

Scorpio

There’s an opportunity approaching that’ll be a dream come true for you! No, not that dream — the other one, with all the spiders.

9.sagittarius.jpg

Sagittarius

The stars will only say this once: Are you sure it’s dead?

10.capricorn.jpg

Capricorn

As an earth sign, Capricorn, you tend not to trust your intuition. But you already know you aren't alone in the house, don't you?

11.aquarius.jpg

Aquarius

It can be tough when your beliefs and goals don’t line up with everyone else’s, but it’s important to follow your own path. Those summer camp kids aren’t going to terrorize themselves!

12.pisces.jpg

Pisces

Honestly, the stars have no idea what this month holds for you. They're light years away, and they don't give a shit.